"Then Samson went to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her." (Judges 16:1)
I told the class to take out their bibles and turn to the Old Testament. They looked at me like I was crazy. This wasn't Sunday School. It was English. And it was Wednesday. We were supposed to be learning about allusions.
We talked about the story of Samson and Delilah. She cut off his hair (allegedly), and he lost all his power. We listened to Regina Spektor's song, Samson.
I asked a bunch of questions I don't know the answers to. Like who's this song about? Where do we go when we die? Does God remember me? (I didn't ask them all out loud.) We talked about love and sex and power (then someone asked to use the bathroom), and we talked about God and strength and betrayal and man, it's such a pretty song.
I looked out the window and saw Jared (aka The Fighter, aka @22JaredL, aka Tiger, aka one of my former football players). Last month, Jared was diagnosed With T-Cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Fresh off chemotherapy and radiation, he just came by to say hello.
I asked him how he was feeling, what he's been up to, how the mask he was wearing felt, if he remembered me, if he was in pain, if he still believed in God, how long he thinks he's going to live, if he ever asks why (I didn't ask them all out loud.)
Gabi, Sarah, and Lexi stopped by during lunch. I haven't seen Lexi in months. Her hair was shorter and hipper and she looked happy. She showed me a picture of when she cut it all off. I asked her why she did it, if it hurt her or anyone else, if she lost her power, if she still believes in God, if she's happy, if she's cried today, if she's nervous about coming back to school, if she's all better, if she ever asks why (I didn't ask them all out loud.)
"And Samson called unto the Lord, and said, O Lord God, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me"
It was supposed to just be another day at the office. But sometimes Wednesdays are more than just Wednesdays. Sometimes teachers have more questions than they ever say out loud. And sometimes we're all just waiting for our hair to grow back.
I know Spring doesn't officially begin for a few more weeks, but here's to hoping.
I don't even know what to say. It feels like not very long ago I saw him in Walmart. He looked so happy. I avoided him because I'm awkward, although I've always loved him teasing me.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I think we all say that we're crying as we read a post but we're really not. Just on the inside or something. But I legitimately did cry as I read this. And it's weird cuz I'm in a really public place. But thank you. I just can't believe what things happen when you get older.
http://charlesdarnell36.blogspot.com/2014/02/its-february-26th-but-it-feels-like.html
ReplyDeleteI didn't think what I had to say would fit in a comment post.
Thank you.
-Sarah
This was amazing! thanks so much Nelson! I didn't completely cry but i was weeping on the inside. But really this was great
ReplyDelete"Sometimes teachers have more questions than they ever say out loud. And sometimes we're all just waiting for our hair to grow back."
ReplyDeleteMmmm... word. My fav. part? Asking all those questions, but not necessarily out loud.
I loved this post. so so so so much. I think you should ask more of those questions out loud.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that you have never commented on my blog and I am very upset with you. SCREW YOU NELSON!!! YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH!
ReplyDeletelol
DeleteFelt close to this post as more and more of my hair is falling out. Love it.
ReplyDeleteThis class though.
Yeah but this class though.
The questions.
ReplyDeleteThe fluidity of our lives sometimes.
ReplyDeletebeautiful words