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Thursday, April 21, 2016

rn

it's 5:43 on a thursday

Bo's at soccer practice and Brooklyn has a game at 6:30 and Cy has a game at 8:30
my kids are creating their childhoods right now and i just want to be a part of it

the school year is almost over
4th term goes by so fast
you can hardly see it

I need to water my lawn, it's dying. Like everything else.

Yesterday I was depressed and I didn't know why. I'm usually happy, but something just didn't feel right. Nothing was wrong, everything was right, but something wasn't right. I know that doesn't make sense, but this is how I feel right now.

I've stopped reading blogs and it's my job and I'm sorry and I'll come around soon, I promise.

What a strange year this has been.
Suspended in January and where did all the poetry go and I feel older this April than any April before.

My classes are full next year and for some reason that's stressing me out.
I didn't want two CW2 classes, but I guess I'll make it work.
I'm not excited for next year and I want to delete this sentence as I'm writing it.

I actually felt good driving home from school today. My mind was racing, thinking about tomorrow's class, excited to write this post I'm writing right now, excited to see my kids and my wife when I got home, only to ignore them by watching Pardon the Interruption at 4:30, it was a good day.

And then I got the news that Prince died.

I'm listening to Justin Bieber sing where are you now that I need you and I wasn't friends with Prince but I'm still sad.

I've been listening to seniors in high school tell stories for four days. I've laughed and been entertained, but I thought more people would share serious stories. The prompt was about change and they told chase stories and injury stories and weekend stories. What happened to all the divorce stories and death stories and Tuesday stories? I wonder if I really wanted to hear them, though. Maybe that's why I only shared funny stories. Maybe it's all too much.

I had tears in my eyes this afternoon and I'm not sure why. Sometime around the Prince tributes and a nice letter my son's teacher wrote his class about SAGE testing and how it doesn't measure everything young people are worth and my daughter showing me how she's getting better at the hula hoop.

We're ripping old carpet out of my house this weekend. So here's to fresh starts.





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