"I saw this picture of me playing basketball and I coulda swore it was you."-My Father
I couldn't sleep last night because of the numbers going through my head.
- My dad left when I was 8.
- He was 33.
- They were married for 12 years.
- My son is 9.
- I'm 34.
- We've been married for 13 years.
But every time I look in the mirror:
"You guys have the same walk. The same nose. The same laugh. The same last name. You have the same addictive personality. The same insecurities. You have the same relatives. The same sense of humor. The same family tree. The same DNA. You guys have the same problems. The same obsessions. The same destruction. The same regrets. The same everything."Then why do I expect things to be different?
After I got married, my dad gave me some advice:
"Learn how to cook and do your own laundry. In case you guys ever get divorced."
Hindsight: Maybe he should've told me to treat her right instead. To be honest and true. To not make the same mistakes he did and maybe she'd never want to leave me in the first place. But it got me thinking.
- Maybe everybody gets divorced eventually.
- Maybe leaves fall from trees every year just to prepare us.
- Maybe we all turn into our parents.
"It was always about to hit me."
Nelson, this post is absolutely amazing. I still read your posts and your students blogs. This is one of my all time favorites. From not just you, from anyone. Sorry for being stalkerish and commenting but I had to because I thought this was soooo good.
ReplyDeleteThis is really really good. And I know that doesn't mean much coming from me...but this really hit me. Poked at the parts of my heart that are so tucked away I didn't even know they existed. Thank you for this...
ReplyDelete"Our hearts are wrapped in bubble paper and our memories are solid gold."
"The same obsessions. The same destruction."
I can go to sleep now. But I'll still wake up all worried...
I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteEverything. Goodness.
ReplyDelete"Our hearts are wrapped in bubble paper and our memories are solid gold."
And then I also stole the rest of it.
"same relatives"
ReplyDeletethat makes me so angry in such a good way.
"everybody gets divorced eventually"
ReplyDelete#stolen
also what if everyone really does get divorced eventually. What if when we go to heaven (assuming heaven actually exists) we get split up from our spouse and paired up with someone "more fitting" for us.
that would be weird.
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ReplyDeletewtf I never even commented on this so I have no idea why it says my name right there, but obviously the part about becoming like our parents gave me anxiety because NOOOO. But I relate to this post a lot and I want to thank you for posting it because it is important to me #thankyou #truth
Delete"Maybe we all turn into our parents."
ReplyDeleteI used to be scared and not believe it when my mom said I would discipline and say things the way she does. But now I realize I'm just like her.
"But every time I look in the mirror: You guys have the same.... Everything"
Everything you said... Every way you guys are the same... It gives me chills and makes me want to give you a hug! This is amazing.
#CantExplainIt #SameWalkSameDNA #DifferentPerspective
"everybody gets divorced eventually" #STOLEN
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorites
"maybe we all turn into our parents eventually."
ReplyDeletesometimes i think this would be a bad thing. and other times, i wonder if it would really be that horrible? and then i think: yeah, i guess it would. but i'm still questioning.
"Our hearts are wrapped in bubble paper and our memories are solid gold."
ReplyDeleteThat is one beautiful line right there. #notoriginal (:
Freaking heck. I mean to say not ordinary... it was extremely original!
ReplyDelete"But every time I look in the mirror: "The same insecurities. You have the same relative. The same sense of humor. Then why do I expect things to be different? Maybe we all turn into our parents." # STOLEN. This is probably one of my biggest fears...
ReplyDeleteYeah I really really don't like the "same DNA thing" you have the same DNA, the same nose, the same personality problems. You get that from Her side of the family, you're like that because of your mother, you're just like your grandfather
ReplyDeleteF*CKING NO stop using my DNA to define me I am my own unique individual with my own unique ideas and feels. I think nothing like them . I am not related
When I was really depressed one of my largest insecurities was that I would end up like my mother
I thought I was weird in how I thought I was the only one who ran through numbers regarding their parents at night. And worried.
ReplyDeleteAnd felt plagued by the thought of feeling my freedom restricted because "everyone turns out to be EXACTLY like their parents"
Very little is more frightening than that.
"I can quit acting like my mother now. Staying up all night, worrying about everything." #stolen Sorry doing some stalking today
ReplyDeleteWe don't just end up like out parents. We decide that we turned out all right, so we use the same techniques they did. I'm not a parent yet, and I don't hope to be any time soon, but I never want to raise my kids the same way I was raised.
ReplyDeleteDon't show your wife this.
ReplyDelete