a poem you can understand

i'm done with (*begin air quotes*) real poetry (*end air quotes*) because (*begin air quotes*) real poetry (*end air quotes*) sucks.

It's old and white and stuffy and holier than thou and my dad doesn't want to read it.

Metaphors, hyperbole, and other things you forgot from English class

I just want to tell the truth. I want these voices in my head to settle down, I want to this feeling in my stomach to go away. Let's talk about being alive.

Let's talk about the shows we watch and the food we eat too late and the things we do when nobody's looking. Let's come to terms with ourselves.

I'm not looking for favorites or comments or retweets. I'm trying to connect with you while at the same time avoid talking to you when I see you at the Wal-mart self checkout

stop looking at me

please see me for who I am

These poems need to stop lying and start dancing, they're putting me to sleep. Poems need to be bike rides and drunk texts, I want an equal opportunity employer.

I said this was going to be a poem you can understand and then I went and put all this poetry in it.

Let's watch Adventures in Babysitting and forget about the F-words until it's too late.

I'm deleting my Facebook, I'm deleting my Twitter, I never had an Instagram, and I have to publish my own books. Nobody will pay to hear what I have to say

so that's why I'll tattoo it across my arms and start wearing tank tops again.

stop looking at my arms

please see them for what they are:

equal opportunity employers

All poems are not equal in the sight of God

please forgive me

please buy my books because my mom can only buy so many

someone tell my son that i'm someone worth listening to
someone tell my daughter to stop wearing so much makeup

these poems are last words and eulogies that i get to write for myself because i won't be invited to my own funeral,

someone please bring the potato salad, but don't let it sit outside in your car for too long.