mr. play it safe

when you're in your 30s
nobody asks you what you want to be when you grow up

i took out the garbage this morning
internet bills and prescription pill bottles
close enough to grab with my hand
listening to songs from the late 90's
because top 40 hits don't mean anything to me yet

i'm a teacher in the middle of summer
a lifeguard on a rainy day
a VCR repairman in an Amish town
today is my day off

my wife, she rearranges the furniture in the front room
i stare out the window while Alanis Morissette screams
this is us turning into our parents, baby

isn't it ironic, in 1999 i wanted to be a writer
and Cher's Believe was #1 on the charts
the stars were aligned
but today there's a bees' nest in my front yard
and Santa Claus stopped writing me back

the bees' nest is alive, pissed off
and oblivious
and scared
and so am i

follow me up the ladder
don't look down and don't look directly at the sun
careful is my middle name, I was named after my father
he was never an olympian
nobody ever put a gold medal around his neck
no silver, no bronze
wheaties was just a sugarfree cereal in our house

60 snuck up on him
now it's on my heels
objects in the mirror are closer than they appear

watch me check the mail
watch me sort the recycling
and kill all the bees in all the trees
watch me chase these calendar pages both ways