I'm 35 and I don't know what I want to do with my life.
HOLD UP: I'm living the dream, molding young minds, raising a young family, excited for Monday mornings, passionate, enthusiastic, alive inside.
BUT: I have a gypsy soul and I'm eating government cheese. #jokes
I've always wanted to be something. So now what?
Everything used to be about getting the girl. Then I got her.
Everything used to be about leaving the job I hated. Then I left.
So now what?
Is this all we'll ever do?
I'm reading a book by Ed Sheeran and I want to be a musician. I'm watching a documentary about Johnny Carson and I want to be on TV. I'm watching Muhammad Ali and I want to be the greatest I want to be the greatest I want to be the greatest.
I'm far too old for this much ambition.
Shouldn't I be living vicariously through my children by now? I think my son has a game next Saturday.
I'm tired of looking at Facebook. Comparing milestones in Instagram pictures. Liking things we don't like and favoriting things that aren't our favorite. Are we really going to spend every Thursday looking back?
I'm sick of feeling sick when I'm not sick.
I guess I just want to be nervous again. I want to be backstage waiting for my name to be called. The way I felt when she came over after I dropped off our prom pictures. The way I felt at 4:30 during my last shift.
Muhammad Ali started boxing when he was 12 because somebody stole his bike. And Johnny Carson filled in for someone who accidentally knocked himself out before a show. And Ed Sheeran blew up in America after playing at a Poetry Open Mic in Los Angeles.
The future introduces herself all the time.
What I'm really trying to say is that I'm not ready to start going through the motions yet.
"The future introduces herself all the time."
ReplyDeleteOh wait I love that....
I'm sick of feeling sick when I'm not sick
ReplyDeleteLiterally my life. Well said my friend
What I'm really trying to say is that I'm not ready to start going through the motions yet.
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. I love this. And all I have to say is.. You're most everyone's favorite teacher. You make things fun and teach us life lessons in odd ways. I know this isn't the most poetic way to say this. But at least with every student that comes back, you've succeeded. Every person that passes your class is a quest completed. Maybe not everything is new and flashy but just so you know.. I'm glad your my teacher. I'm glad you got that girl, quit that job, and somehow made into your classroom, your theater. We're your screaming fans, feel nervous. Facebook's boring, desert it. You say your writers get better with every year. You're learning. You save lives with every post, every comfort breaking poetry slam. Thank you for connecting us. But we're still open and your quest will never be over. (Kinda feels like a rap to me... Idk)
Thanks Nelson for being a great teacher.
"We're your screaming fans, feel nervous."
DeleteThat's the best thing I've ever heard ever.
(Here's to the last week of the semester...I'm starting to get a little nervous...thank you.)