into the woods

I'd rather be anywhere else.

I know that sounds harsh. I'm not a negative person, I'm not a negative person. (Yes I am.)

Like Kanye once said, nothing but positive energy.
That's where I want to be.

Call it Paris, call it yesterday, call it home. The blinds are open, the sun is shining, and my ringer is off. I have nowhere to be, I have everywhere to go. I want to go into the woods.

Where the trees don't know me, nothing but positive energy. I want to make things and live forever. I want to be alone, I want to be in front of the world. I want everyone to see me, I want to be invisible. Into the woods, into the woods.

Where Thoreau writes poetry and girls get murdered. Nothing but positive energy, positive energy.

Two roads diverged in the yellow wood and I turned around and walked home. I logged into Netflix and kicked the Lazyboy all the way back. I told my wife I loved her and asked the kids if they wanted popcorn.

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Nothing but positive energy.

old journals and goodbyes and holy crap

Let's call this a goodbye letter.

I'm not talking about break-ups or suicides or death or even graduation. It's January and we'll always have the rest of our lives. I'm just trying to say goodbye. 

Goodbye 2015. Holy crap. I still remember when I used to party like it was 1999 and I remember Y2K and it's like every year I just get older. I was born in the '70s and I wonder if you even know what that means.

Goodbye sophomores. All I teach is seniors now. And a couple of juniors who, if we were playing little league baseball, I'm sure someone would ask to see their birth certificate. #compliment

Goodbye my continually receding hairline.

Goodbye football. You broke my heart too many times this year. #LonePeak #sicTackticians #Utes #Vikings

(This next section is for me, not for you...don't bother reading it)
Some excerpts from my personal journal:

Saturday, 9/15/15: "It's movie night! We're watching Edge of Tomorrow. PG-13. None of our kids are 13 yet, btw. ... Things are going really well right now. Maybe I should knock on wood or something. ... THIS IS WHAT HAPPINESS FEELS LIKE."

Saturday, 10/17/15: "Holy crap. Varsity is undefeated (9-0). ... and the Utah game (they're undefeated too, and ranked #4 in the country). ... My fantasy football team is also undefeated, HOLY CRAP - is this the best year ever and I just don't know it yet?"

My fantasy football team lost in the playoffs on a Monday night when Ben Watson caught a last minute touchdown, and Blair Walsh just missed a 27-yard game-winning FG for the Vikings today, and I'm not even going to mention Lone Peak...

Who knows, maybe this was the best year ever. 

Football is just a game. And school is just a game. And creative writing is just a game. And love is just a game. And everything's just a game when you think about it. All that really matters is that my kids want to watch Once Upon a Time tonight, so I need to finish this letter soon.


I love my job. I love creative writing. When I see former students and they invariably ask me "How's creative writing" I say "Good" and I mean it. I'm not just saying good like when people ask me in the hall how are you and I say good and I'm not really good but I just say good so we can keep on walking our separate ways. I ACTUALLY MEAN IT.

This isn't a poem, this is a letter.

I'm sorry for not teaching you how to write. I just taught you to write. There's a difference. I don't know how to write. But I know how to write. You know what I'm saying? I know how to sit in front of a blank screen and type how I feel. I know how to write a screenplay. A play. A poem. I know how to write the first draft of a novel that I may never finish. I know how to write a blog post. A Master's Thesis. A business e-mail. I'm sorry if I didn't give you the cheat codes to whatever you wanted to write this semester. I promise they're everywhere if you look for them. You'll find them in college. You'll find them on the internet. You'll find them in the library.

I hope you discovered magic this semester. I hope you felt inspired. I hope you tried not to be a tourist. I hope you'll try to keep figuring it all out.

And so will I.

Sincerely,
Kyle Nelson