Open Windows // The Pen Name Anthem

Maybe Andrea Gibson wrote my favorite poem of all time
or maybe it was just the song playing in the background

We write behind pen names like hide and go seek games
you're it, you're it
Just trying to get English credit and you're it

Can you feel the gravity
as young people are letting down their guards
and we all just keep falling

I've never had to tell everyone who I really was,
so I don't know what you're going through
I don't know

Paris was always only a symbol and Harold was always only a failure
I am an open book,

I don't know if I chose Harold or if Harold chose me
I am an open book,

I am a book written in another language

I don't know which poems I've already read in front of the class
and which ones I've only read to my wife
I've been trying to recognize my own voice for decades

This is me trying to open the windows in my classroom

This is me making a list of things to read while he sits in his prison cell
Because we're all doing time
and all we have is time
and all we can give is time
and all we need is time

Sometimes when students write poems dedicated to Paris, I think they're talking to me
and they say things like "I've always loved you"
it makes me feel weird

Maybe I was never Paris
Maybe all of us were
Maybe we still are
Maybe we can still be

Harold Miner means as much to me as Kyle Nelson ever did
and I don't know which one is the real me

I once asked a girl named Kenzie how her older sister Kat was doing
and she looked at me like I was crazy.
Cause see, Kat Stratford was just a pen name of one of my favorite writers
and sometimes I get the virtual world confused with the real world
and I wonder if I even remember that girl's real name
I'm sorry

But you will always be your pen name to me
I'm sorry

We keep changing the greetings on our phones because our voices don't sound right
they never will
even deaf people sometimes cover their ears

even seniors in high school still get excited for school
you keep looking for credit, I promise I'll give you all that you ever needed
no you can not use the hall pass
I'm about to change everything you thought you knew about yourself
sit down

and tomorrow when I call you by your pen name
you probably won't even look

how to fool everyone

step one: become a teacher

step two: sell writing to unsuspecting teenagers

step three: tell them how much they need it, how much you love it, how much they'll love it, how easy it is, how important it is, assign them posts every week, and journal prompts every other day, including five they must do on their own, inspire them, inspire them, inspire them

step four: don't write yourself because you're too busy

step five: remind them how important it is for them to write, even if they're busy

step six: call the busiest ones tourists

step seven: watch netflix instead of write

step eight: read instead of write

step nine: fantasy football instead of write

step ten: join a november novel writing website and pretend you'll stick with it

step eleven: repeat every semester and see how long your heart lasts